the experience of a lifetime

The opportunity I had to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the best experience of my life. Nothing can compare to the things that I learned, the people I met, the things that I got to do.

I arrived at the Provo Missionary Training Center on June 15th, 2016. On that day I met my Ohana, that's what we call each other now. My MTC district became my best friends, my family. There were 10 of us in district 45A, and we were a very diverse group who instantly clicked. Elder Wood, from Canada, was our district leader, then there was Elder Greathouse from Alaska, Elder Kimball from Georgia, Elder Carvalho from Hawaii, Elder Snyder from Pensylvania, Elder Silva from Washington, Sister Neisporek and Sister Brockhausen from Texas, Sister Laing from Utah, and me, Sister Alvari, from Idaho. We spent every day together for three weeks. We shared so many inside jokes, funny stories, and spiritual moments.

July 5th came around and we were off to the field, the Elders to Orem, Utah and the Sisters to Carlsbad, California. Goodbyes are always hard, especially when they are the only people you know. Us Sisters spent the day traveling to California. That same day we got our companion and went off to our area. My companion/trainer/mom was Sister Skabelund from Oregon. She was still a "greenie" (only been out for 6 weeks) and was already training! I couldn't have asked for a better trainer, she was so patient with me and loving.

Only a few days had passed when I became very emotional and overwhelmed with feelings I couldn't put to words. I spent time in prayer begging for direction and help to overcome what I was feeling. I can't explain the way I felt, all I can say was that something wasn't right. I was loving California, the weather, the people, my companion, but something was pulling me away. After getting a blessing from the Zone Leaders and the Mission President, meeting with the Mission President and his wife a few times, and much praying, I made the decision that returning home is what I needed to do.

That was the hardest decision to make, especially when I felt like I was letting everyone down and people would judge me for my choice. However, I will never forget the things that I learned from my mission. Every day is a struggle with the possibility of feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, uncertainty, and so much more. There are so many people who care about how I am doing, what they can do to help, etc. But what people don't understand is how early returned missionaries feel or what they can say to help. I wish I could say to just give it time and it will blow over, but that is not the case. This is a moment in time that will always be reflected on, an experience of a lifetime that many don't have the opportunity to partake in...

"Service is service no matter how long or short."